… for echo4charlie’s thing.
I couldn’t resist not using GIFs…also I don’t know what time it is in the United States but meh.
You’re Asian, which automatically gives you a 5% racial bonus in Gaming but you’re also an American citizen now- the American Embassy finally found that citizenship form your mother sent 22 years ago. So now you can look forward to going to Disneyland (again after nearly 7 years), seeing fat people in California and being squashed in the subway.
Having a pair of ovaries automatically gives you access to the Fountain of Youth ability that Asian women have. Other bitches look like they’re 40 when they’re actually just 23 but Asian bitches don’t look their age until they get to 80. So consider the fact that you’re going to turn 20 next month and you can still get into Disneyland as a ‘child’.
Also, birthdays are always awesome.
You’re also Asian short and Asian thin, which only makes you more epic. Short people make the best fucking ninjas ever and consider the fact that you’ll never gain weight because of your freak Asian metabolism.
You’re the youngest child in your family, which is fucking epic. Everyone gives you stuff and you can never be blamed for anything. You are currently balls deep in stuffed toys and nice clothes. You have a fluffy dog and you also had like- 3 laptops this year. And did I mention that you can never be blamed for anything?
You applied to 7 universities (sitting through a grand total of maybe 10 hours of entrance exams) and only two of those seven didn’t accept you. Your major in college is basically ‘Bitch, I can be a diplomat’ and you can read, understand and speak French. You’re very experienced with bullshitting school papers so yeah- you can cram the shit out of anything and still get a high score out of it. And oh yeah, you’ve just made it onto the Dean’s List so-
You finished writing a book, which really isn’t Game-of-Thrones thick but you can still slap people with it. You can draw people and animals despite not having any formal training and you edit gameplay footage into badass music videos because you’re just that fucking awesome. Or just that fucking bored, whichever reason would suffice.
And finally, remember your latest crowning moment of awesome in Battlefield 3 multiplayer… You looted an enemy Engineer’s gear, realizing a second later that the dude was carrying anti-tank mines. You noticed a tank up the street to your right and you thought it was clever to lay down the mines on the road. The tank saw you planting mines and blew your head off. And then it ran over the mines you were planting a second before.